* update! ^-^

Why hello there Blogspot & August.

It's been almost 4 months since my last post. 

and there are so many things to blog and update.

Anyways. I was in the Philippines for a month. It was fucking amazing. The culture there is so different from here in Canada but I guess that's a given since ... well, You know. It's Asia. Halfway across the world. My cousins there are amazing but I do think that the ones on my father's side are cooler than the ones on my mothers side but I think that's mostly because of the huge age gap. The ones on my mothers side are nearly 30 while the ones on my dads side are just everywhere. And I love them to bits. The Fantastic 4 is what I refer to when I speak of my amazing kuyas in the Philippines. Kuya Lexus, Kuya Gerald, Kuya Jorelle & Kuya Sayreel. I miss them so much. Much more than words can describe. Also, I miss Ate Me Ann. You know, most people find me intimidating. Like, I apparently have a look where I'm apparently hard to talk to and they don't bother getting to know me. But Ate Me Ann poked her way into my life and was one of the few who actually cared about me so much. I miss my Ate. She's truly like my sister. ): She drove us everywhere and she was there to help us with everything and I miss her so much. Anyways, we spent 2 weeks in Cavite and 2 weeks in Quezon. I finally got to go to the beach! We went to Batangas for 2 days and it was really fun actually. Kuya Chad and Kuya Michael were watching us when we swam. A shark came waaaay too close to us for our liking though. ): Anyways. oh. Yeah, car crash. and um. an unfortunate boyfriend who cheated on me like a fucking little gouaehjaeklh. I will not be blogging about them. Anyways, yeah. Um. So Cavite is basically carabaw. Carabaw everywhere. Quezon city is much more my pace. Also, Chowking is everything. CHOWKING IS BETTER THAN ANYTHING. I don't know. I didn't really like Jollibee that much. :P I liked their palabok but their chicken joy was kinda weird. I MISS SARSI. I MISS SARSI AND ROYAL I CAN'T EVEN. ALSO THE MANGOES. Philippine Mangoes are amazing. So yeah blah blah blah. Went to Amana Waterpark. Went to SM Fairview, Trinoma, Mall Of Asia. Blah blah blah. But yeah <3 and="and" anything="anything" back="back" d="d" do="do" go="go" i="i" loved="loved" philippines="philippines" span="span" the="the" to="to">

Know what else? I have a boyfriend! Yes. and actual real boyfriend. Woot Tyler <3 a="a" about="about" aladdin="aladdin" although="although" amazing="amazing" amp="amp" and="and" answer="answer" anyone="anyone" ask="ask" beauty="beauty" best="best" better="better" bits="bits" black="black" boyfriend.="boyfriend." boyfriend="boyfriend" chin="chin" coffee="coffee" colourful="colourful" cute.="cute." cute="cute" dorky="dorky" else="else" enough="enough" everything.="everything." for="for" friend.="friend." from="from" get="get" has="has" have="have" he="he" head.="head." him="him" his="his" honestly="honestly" i="i" if="if" in="in" is="is" it="it" james="james" jasmine.="jasmine." jasmine="jasmine" just.="just." just="just" kind.="kind." kind="kind" know="know" knows="knows" language.="language." likes="likes" lily.="lily." lot.="lot." loud="loud" love="love" mario="mario" me.="me." me="me" most="most" much.="much." music.="music." music="music" my="my" of="of" on="on" one="one" only="only" passion="passion" peach.="peach." people="people" person="person" princess="princess" question="question" rae="rae" reads="reads" rest="rest" s="s" see="see" sometimes="sometimes" span="span" speaks="speaks" t="t" tall.="tall." tall="tall" than="than" the="the" them.="them." thing="thing" tiny="tiny" to="to" too="too" trivial="trivial" true="true" ttractiveness="ttractiveness" unique.="unique." villanueva.="villanueva." weird.="weird." well.="well." well="well" were="were" where="where" wouldn="wouldn" yeahup.="yeahup." you="you">
I love him to bits.
He’s my loser/dork/boyfriend/soulmate/stupidface <3 span="span">

Until next time, blogger <3 span="span">

30 Hour Famine - April 13th and 14th
30 hour famine. 


Greatest night ever. 


At first, it was kind of hard to deal with hunger but after a while it really does start to numb and it’s like “You’re not getting any food at all so stay hungry but don’t feel anything”. So, I walked through the school door, checked into the cafeteria and then I had to look for the guys. Well, I found them in a corner with all the outlets and shit and Patrick forgot the kitchen sink. Hahah. He had a hugeass blow up mattress set up in a corner with his laptop and the rest of his stuff. Anyways, Yeah. so I put down my sleeping bag and shit at the foot of the mattress with ryans stuff and I went to go sit in a corner and I kinda fell asleep on Tyler. Yeah. Er- so we started ice breakers and Tyler was our leader for rock paper scissors and we had a huge group with us. But then we lost and it was awkward. I don;’t really remember a lot of stuff after that though. We played a game where you had to group yourselves into a number but I decided to ditch that and play guitar. So after I kept trying to make Tyler uncomfortable but it didn’t work that well because I got uncomfortable. “Hey Jasmine, wanna play a game called firetruck?” LOLNO TYLER. loljk but yeah. I sat on him. and he lay on me. Yeah, way to keep it G. xD Then Breanna came along and we all played Mario kart on DS! Yeah, that was kinda fun. So. then we got into super boring groups and we played ninja but everyone in my group sucked at it. It was like, 10 pm by then and everyone was still awake. So we played more mario kart! Yeah. I just remember a presentation and I fell asleep for one of them and Tyler woke me up and Patrick drew on me and apparently I should stop wearing off the shoulder shirts because Tyler kept snapping my bra strap and yeah. I fell asleep. Patrick drew on me. Actually, He drew on everyone. The movie started at 1:05 I think and it was the help and it was kind of boring. I don;t remember what I did then but then I moved my sleeping bag to the corner and I fell asleep around 2:05 ish and I fell asleep by Tyler. Yeah, I don’t know either. He fell asleep and I woke up at 2:30 ish and everyone was like, harrassing Ryan. He’s kinda mean when he’s tired. It’s kind of great. So. Yeah…. Ben was dared to lick Tyler and we played Eye Of The Tiger while doing it and Ben kept laughing. So I stayed up for the rest of the night and I played Mario on Tyler’s DS for like an hour and read Beastly until 5:30 am. I’m pretty sure I’m leaving a bunch of shit out but I can’t really remember because I’ve been drifting in and out of sleep since like, 5. Oh, and for breakfast I had a cookie but I felt like I was going to throw up after it. Yeah. 
Ticklish.
It’s really awkward when Ben has bigger boobs than you do. 


I don’t know where that came from but Tyler sat on me and he had his leg on my ass and he kept tickling me and apparently I squeak when I’m ticklish. He kept laughing at me. -__- Also, I spent like, half an hour lying on him and sitting on him. Yeah, I was trying to make him uncomfortable but I think I was the one who was uncomfortable. Yeah, Also, He snaps my bra strap. It’s kinda awkward and it doesn’t help that he only does it because I tell him not to and to wake me up. I got stuck between an air mattress and a wall because of him. :| 

Second Semester.

Second Semester, My schedule is


Graphic Arts
Geography
Photography
- LUNCH -
Jewellery Arts
Math Essentials


YAY! I only have ... 3 exams to worry about. Whatever, I had 3 last semester too. But this semester I'm going to be gone for a month. An ocean will separate me and my family away from my family. :| I'm so excited for the Philippines though. My sisters are being brats about it. They don't want to go but they won't tell me why. I don't think I'll have a lot to worry about. I understand the language just fine, and I'm learning it.


Hm. Anyways, I will random shit
I want to kiss him
I want to kiss him
I want to kiss him
I want to kiss him
Um, So apparently I'm a whore now. For kissing one boy. And for deciding to stay friends with him. Even though he's fine with it. Ok guys. Apparently I'm a whore. But I think it's more of a life experience. I can't describe it though.  I wish some people would just stay out of our relationship though. I mean, if it doesn't concern you then leave it be. :'|
... I think making out with poprocks would be fun
WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING .,


Anyways. Besides the point.
Jewellery arts is fun. Whole lot of work to make one piece or jewellery though. Er- is it bad that I really want to kiss someone with poprocks. Why do I even keep going back to that point. whganijgakhgajgla. Yeah, ok.
I should probably go to sleep. I'm seeing stars right now. It's only 11:08 too. :|


So. Um. Goodnight. (Miguel) :P

My first kiss went a little like this...

It was awkward. It was perfectly awkward. But it was so perfectly awkward and oh my gosh I can't believe I kissed someone .

Makeup.

Her hand shakes as she once again picks up that god forsaken tube. “Is this what’ll make me supposedly pretty?” she wonders as she sweeps the colourful dirt on her face. “Is this how I want people to see me?, Superficial and weak? succumbing to rubbing colourful dirt on my cheeks, and eye lids to be seen as pretty?” 

She’s got a lot to offer. She’s funny. She’s smart. She’s nice. She’s easy to talk to. But does that matter when she sees herself as not pretty? 

She picks up the skin toned cream and smooths it across her blemishes. Battle scars. It’s what they are. Don’t they usually say that you should wear them with pride? Not in this society. Not in this damn society where anorexia is what girls are wearing these days and the pressure to be thin or pretty is sinking into their pores.

“Can’t they love me for me? Look beyond my face and body and love me for everything that makes me, Well. Me?” she ponders as she puts down the brush and looks at herself in the mirror, and is met with a look of hate at the monster in the mirror. “Can’t they see me for me? and not just a shadow of what I could be?”

Homework.

Homework. 


It’s definitely what I’m doing right now. I’m not going to think about how small this pencil is and how his fingers would fit so perfectly inbetween them, nor am I thinking about how perfect we’d be together. I can’t help but look over at him and smile at his chesnut brown hair that just looks oh so soft, and how I’d love to run my fingers through it and he’d smile into our kiss and I’d smile back. 


Wait! Homework. I am doing homework, I am not thinking about him. I am not going to think about him.I’m not going to think about how my fingers are clenching this pencil.  I’m not going to think about his muscles. I’m not going to think about the way he holds me in his arms when I ask for a hug and I’m definitely not going to think about how great it’d be for him to hold me like that in bed. 


Homework. Back to the fucking homework. The pen writes so smoothly on this piece of paper and I can only remember how smoothly he walks, with a bounce in his walk as he throws back his head and laughs at something his friend said but I don’t really know what his friend said because all I can hear is his deep laughter and watch his adorable dimple pop out against his cheeks.  He doesn’t know how crazy he drives me with everything, the way he smells, his tenor voice or the way his hair shines under the sunlight.


 Er- What was I doing? Homework. Right, That’s what I was doing. Multiply this shit by that shit and get 2 … 2, Perfect two. That’d be us. Us 2. Just us 2 and it’d be great and you better bet your money that if that 2 ever turned into 3, someone is going to get punched in the face.


Oh god, I can’t stop thinking about him. I can’t stop thinking about what we could be. He’s essential. He’s like water, Only I need him more than 8 times a day. He’s my everything.


… Fucking homework. 

- Useless crap you don't need to know about me -

I'm just going to keep this here so I can see how much of a tool I was when I was a teenager. 


How to win my heart; 


1) BE FUNNY! Let's be funny together and we'll laugh at everything and have inside jokes everywhere. I don't even care, as long as we can laugh at things together and you can make me laugh then I'm alright with that.


2) I like hugs. I like tight hugs. I like hugs where the person wraps their arms around you. Yeah, I like hugs. 


3) It never hurts to be a bit smart. 


4) I'd be impressed if you knew how to play an instrument (preferably a guitar because then you could bond with my dad even though he's crazy and stuff, with that being said, I guess another way to win my heart is to accept my crazy batshit family for who they are) 


5) Style never hurts anyone. I find plaid shirts on guys attractive. I really do. 




I shall add more crap to that later.


But Right now, I think I'll try to explain how much I like *him*



so I think you’re really really cute and I love all the little things you do in class even though some people think you’re a freak because you hate a lot of things but I know you don’t really hate them and I love sitting by you every every morning this semester and I love the way you write even though it’s shitty and I kind of hate how you call me a bitch even though it’s true and I like how you tell me the truth while everyone lies and I think we should hang out sometime and we could go on a date and I really want to kiss you even though i’ve never kissed anyone before and I kind of really want to kiss you because apparently it’s fun so I think we should do it and I really wish you liked me even though I know you don’t which kind of hurts but that’s okay because I’m used to it and I know that sounds really sad but I really like you and I have no idea why but people don’t really like you because they think you’re mean and vulgar and stuff but they never really took the time to know you and did I mention I think you’re adorable?


My ideal date; 



We’d make our own lunch & take it to the park and have a picnic together.


We’d leave our cellphones and all forms of communication behind, so it’d be us. Just us and nothing else. 


Of course, we’d bring a bunch of different polaraids and take dumb photos together and laugh it off afterwards.


We’d hold hands and act like complete idiots together, but it’d be okay, because we’d be each others idiots. 


We’d spend the day in the park & just be complete fools together and others would watch and laugh, because they’d remember being in love. 


When the sun starts to set, we’d take out a blanket & cuddle and watch the orange sun fade to a dark blue as the stars would start to appear.


We’d point out constellations and laugh as we’d make up completely stupid ones. 


& at the end of the night, We’d have stupid smiles imprinted on our mouths and reminisce at what we had done all day. 


It’d be fun. Just you & me. Let’s go on a cheap date.

My best friends as of now;

1) Ryan Job. Crazy Mexican who lets me push him around. 


2) Christie Balanduk. Best friend with a british accent


3) Miguel Carlos. I bitch at him and he'll bitch back. We are bitches together, also people ship us together and it scares me. // Finally met on January 27. 


4) Tyler Michaud. - Jewfro loser who I like to hug because he is squishy. 


5) Jea Besana. She is great. She's so funny and sometimes she can get annoying but that is alright. 


6) Lyka Sal-Long. My twinny. She is hilarious and so cute. LOL, She's my chibi vampire. xD


7) Kellie Jeffery/Emily Neufeld/ Serena Singh. They are too great. They are my gym best friends and I love them. They're great & they're all from different places. Kellie is from Australia, Emily is from Texas and Serena is from India. They are great.


Also, This is me as of now.

Ryan thinks I'm cute. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

Boy Next Door chapter 2

So. Um. Chapter 2. That I wrote maybe a month ago of the "Boy Next Door". No plotline yet, but keep waiting. Actually, I don't know.  I'm not sure I'll finish it, but anyways, I need your thoughts! (Miguel) LOL.   // ALSO, Sorry if some parts say Ryan instead of Gabriel. 
**The original name was Ryan but it started to creep me out because one of my best friends name is Ryan 

Fluff alert! (For those who don't know what fluff is, It's basically little romantic gestures and mindless nothings that make you want to go AWWWWWW) Hahah ;) 

Chapter 2 

I sprinted all the way home and didn’t stop until I reached my bedroom. My bedroom is my sanctuary, my one place no one can disturb or tell me to leave. I actually helped design it. Lavender walls with white trim, my desk to the side, White bedspread with deep purple comforters covered with stuffed animals. My favourite part though? My mini balcony. It’s big enough to put a swing chair and a little table. One time, when I and Gabriel were about 10, we had this crazy idea to grow an hedge that weaved up the side of my balcony on a ladder that we grew vines around so I could sneak out whenever I wanted and hang out with him. It’s still there but it’s not as sturdy as it once was. 

My heart is beating and it feels like my pulse was electrified. I almost kissed Gabriel. Did I want to kiss him? Now that I think about it, I did. I really did and I have no idea where these dumb feelings came from and I hope they went away soon. I can’t erase that picture from my head; He looked almost … beautiful kind of like a straight Edward Cullen. 

Wait, What am I saying? HE.IS.JUST.MY.FRIEND.My best friend. I don’t want to risk our friendship for a dumb kiss. I know for a fact he’s never kissed anyone before. He dated a girl name Caroline but she cheated on him and broke his heart. Caroline is the kind of girl you’d love to have under your arm. She’s small, she’s pretty with the longest eyelashes and long black hair that fell into perfect ringlets and she’s the kind of girl who looked like she never ate anything and only requested salad, thus giving her perfect skin without a pimple in sight. She’s mean, and she’s manipulative but she can have the personality of an angel. Stupid Caroline, I hated her before but now I hate her with a passion for doing that. He’d never admit it but the day he caught her kissing another boy he came over to my house and cried. I hated it. I hated seeing him hurt. I hated her. I hated the whole situation. 

“Annika?” a voice interrupts my train of thought.

My mom stands at the doorway in a little black dress and I know my mom is going to go out dancing tonight. “Nikka? I’m going out for a bit. Watch Monica and Kathryn for me, alright?” she says. I nod and start to focus on my TV show. 

Jersey Shore. I know it’s complete trash and nothing good comes out of it but I love the drama that comes out of it. Sam and Ronni are kissing. Kissing is the last thing I want to think about. I change the channel to “A Walk To Remember”. Jamie and Landon are kissing. I change the channel. Aladdin. Aladdin and Jasmine are kissing. What the hell is this?! Is it like, “Torture Annika with kissing month”? Damnit, It’s the last thing I want to watch. Thank God Phineas and Ferb is on. Finally, A show with no kiss-Really? Jeremy and Candace are kissing. Well, Screw this shit. I turn off my TV and get ready to go to bed. Monica and Kathryn are somehow asleep and it’s only 9:00. 

I snuggle deep into my covers but all I can think about is him. Why can’t I stop thinking about him? Go to sleep. He’s a stupid boy. But no, I can’t sleep and go outside onto my balcony with my kumot in hand and my pillow. It’s surprisingly warm for a summer’s night. I lie in my swing chair and listen to the way the leaves whisper against the trees. Soon, I drift off to sleep. 

“Nikka? Annika?” someone is gently shaking me awake. 

I open my eyes and Gabriel stands there in his Chicago bull’s shirt and his basketball shorts I bought for his last birthday. What the hell is it about him that makes my heart beat faster like it’s continually pumping adrenaline into me? 

“Er- Um, What are you doing here?” I ask and I realize he’s staring at me weirdly and I soon remember that I’m wearing his red shirt that I borrowed but “lost” and short shorts that hide underneath the shirt. “Oh, Um. Your shirt… Right…” 

“Keep it. It looks better on you anyways” he chuckles. “I couldn’t sleep so I climbed up the ladder and I wanted to see if you were awake” 

I move over so he can sit with me, we sit in silence and you could hear a slight cricket chirp. The sky is still dark, with a million stars dusting the sky and it seems like you could reach out and just take them by the handful. It’s what I wanted to do. Collect them by the handful and place them carefully on my ceiling and watch them glow. 

“Annika… Can I tell you something?” I can see him blushing. I slowly nod, bracing myself for what I was about to hear. 

He takes a huge breath and stutters this out; “…Annika? I like you. I’ve liked you for so long. You’re cute, smart, funny and I just wanted you to know. I think you’re extraordinary. I started to feel this way before I started dating Caroline and I wanted to get rid of it. It just didn’t feel right, you know? Kind of like I was sick, but in a good way, I couldn’t stop these damn butterflies from appearing whenever I saw your face and it was driving me insane. I know you don’t feel the same way… but I just wanted you to know that” he says, as his voice trails behind him, ending in a whisper. 

I can’t believe he just said that. I almost can’t breathe. It’s hard and my mouth just can’t seem to function. Did he say what I thought he just said? Did he say he liked me or am I just imagining things? Worst of all, What do I do? What do I do? Or say? I don’t even know how to feel right now. Why can’t I just pick my feelings, and besides. Why me? I’m nothing special. Honestly, Why’d he choose ME? Now everything is going to be weird and it’ll be his fault (and mine too, for feeling the same way). Why couldn’t he keep his feelings to himself? What am I suppose to say? “I’m sorry but I don’t feel the same way?” I can’t hurt him. I couldn’t forgive myself if I did. Caroline hurt him enough.  … But what if I do feel the same way? What if I do like him like that? I think I do, but I can’t tell. 

Before I could answer, Gabriel had fallen asleep. That is so like him, to fall asleep on ME. Yeahup, his head is on my shoulder and he’s slightly smiling. Shouldn’t it be the other way? I guess it’s alright… but I can’t just leave him here. I shake him awake and giggle when he finally opens his eyes. 

“Hmm? Oh, Um. Oops” he says, blushing again. 

“Stupidface… you fell asleep and I can’t leave you alone. What would my parents think?” I say, with a smirk.

“Sleep with me!” he says in a whiny tone. 

Wait what. Did he actually just…

“No! Not sex, you dummy. I forgot my key and I’m stuck here” he says. I laugh and he blushes. 

Awh, He’s so adorable. I inch closer to him and he puts his arm around me. I lay my head on his chest and realize we fit well together. When it’s like this, I can’t help but love him. So… Maybe I do like him. I guess. But what about our friendship? Does it mean nothing to him? 

“Nikka…! I’m cooold” he whines with a smile on his lips. 

“You’re such a baby” I say, grabbing my blanket and wrapping it around us. 

“Ahah, Nikka, You’re too cute” he says, smiling as I stutter and try to find words to say. “You’re even cuter when you blush” he says, laughing. 

“Shut up!” I say, even though it sounds more like a squeal. If he’s going to play the “be cute with my best friend that I happened to confess that I like her” game, Then I can play it too. 

“Gabeee…. Sing me to sleep” I say, puffing my cheeks out in an attempt to look cross. 

He laughs, and starts to sing. “So beautiful, with those sparkling eyes…So Wonderful… I’d never ever cry…” he says as his harmony begins to meld with the words that were coming out in perfect pitches. 

For all time. By Albert Posis. It’s only my favourite song in the world, and Surprisingly, he’s not a bad singer… and somehow, I fall asleep in his arms, listening to him sing and the way the leaves whisper against the wind.

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Er- So. I need your thoughts about this and whether I should keep going with this or not. Or I could use a co-writer! ;) 

Losing faith in humanity

"Losing your virginity at a younger age (teens, such as 14/15/16) doesn't make you any less of a person than someone who saves it for "the one" or for marriage. It doesn't make you immoral, dirty, or a "slut", either. As long as it was safe, and consensual, there is nothing wrong with it"


Whatever happened to innocence? I mean, At age 14/15/16 we should be awaiting our first kiss, not sex. I mean, I won't hold it against anyone but I think it should be saved for someone you know who is truly worth saving it for, and the fact that people my age are doing that shit? It's digusting. I'm sorry, but that's really gross. Did they do it because they were drunk? Because they wanted to get it over with? Or did they do it because they thought they'd be together forever with that person?  People are stupid. 


and that is all. 

So I finally met Miguel a few days ago

It was awkward. yet great, but awkward because Jea was there. I think I would've actually talked just a bit more if Jea wasn't there because she wanted to see our reaction when we met each other and now Jea, Anne, Lyka and someone else who I don't know their names ship us as a loveteam which is kind of creepy because we demanded a divorce a while ago.

I haven't posted in a while.

What if I told you my parents didn't believe in me?
What if I told you that was the reason I refuse to sing in public and the reason why I refuse to sing in choir any more. 
What if I told you that was why I don't even believe in myself any more when it comes to anything musical? 


What would you do then. 

Boy Next Door chapter 1./

Eh, I just wanted to post this on a blog or something. 

Ugh, It's a story I started in grade 6. Yes, It's super cheesy and teenage love-ish. 

Also, if you see the name "Ryan" anywhere, it's because I changed the name so it would be less awkward writing it without thinking of Ryan. xD. I'm still thinking of changing his name to Caleb or Isaac, but right now it's stuck at Gabriel. & I know it's super rushed but hey, I was in grade 6. Lay off. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I look at him. Like, REALLY look at him. Somehow, this isn't the same boy I've known for so many years. Somethings changed, and I really don't know what.., Somethings just.. different.I mean, He's still the same Gabriel Miyamoto as he was 10 years ago when I first moved down the street next door to him, But somehow, Somethings changed.. and I really can't tell what. He still has the same black hair, hazel eyes, and a dimples in his cheek, He honestly could be a male model, and I used to tell him that, but everytime I did, he would call me a retard and laugh. The only difference between then and now, is that he's taller, and he has broader shoulders. I guess that's what puberty brings when you turn 14 and you're a boy.

We've done this a hundred times, maybe even a million, We've sat on the top of the willow tree in his backyard, watching the sunset together. He turns to me, and his eyes lock with mine 

"Annika, Why are you looking at me so weirdly? Have you finally noticed my extreme hottness?" He says cracking a grin I've seen so many times before. 

"You wish.." I say, stifling a giggle. Gabriel so cocky, But I guess I should know that, being his best friend and all. He lives next door to me, and I remember the first time I met him, I made him cry. But it was by accident I swear, He and his mom came over to greet us, and she introduced me to him, and I asked him if he wanted to play tag, and he tripped over a rock and scraped his knee. I guess it wouldn't be such a huge deal now but we were both 5 then. Now we're 14, and we're starting highschool together.

"Gabe... "I say out loud, breaking the silence. "I can't believe I've known you for a decade" I say. 

"Yeah... Same. I can't believe we're starting highschool. It's such a huge place" he said. 

"Highschool.. Freshmen again. You thinking about signing up for JV basketball?" I ask, already knowing the answer is a yes, it's been his favourite sport since forever, and his favourite team is the Chicago Bulls. 

"Hell to the yeah! How else do you think I'm going to get my basketball scholarship? Besides, the cheerleaders are supposed to be really hott" He said with a wink. 

"Ugh, Gabriel, you're such a guy" I say. We sit in silence, the sky is turning a soft pink and dark blue with stars twinkling in the sky. 

"Annika..?" he says softly. My stomach flutters. Is it possible? No. It can't be. He's my BROTHER, My buddy, my best friend. 

"Annika!" he says a little louder. 

"Hmm? Yeah?" I answer, my stomach is fluttering.

 "You're falling.." he says, as he places his hand over mine. My pulse skyrockets, and I realize I almost was falling off the tree branch. I want this moment to last forever. Sitting together. His hand on mine. 

"Thanks .." I say, He's not moving his hand. And in one swift movement, He's holding it. I look down, our fingers interlocking, It just feels so comfortable, like my fingers were meant to be inbetween his.. I look up and he's blushing madly, staring straight ahead.

Or, at least that's what I wish as to what could've happened, But no. I'm sitting atop a trampoline, 10ft from where I was sitting before. I look up, and Gabe is laughing. He pushes himself off the tree branch, and now he's lying next to me, still laughing. That stupid jerk. "It's really not that funny.." I say 

"Yeah it is! You should've seen your face when I pushed you off. So frickin' hilarious." He says. 

"You're such a jerk.. " I say to him.

"I know right?" he says back with a smile. He sits up, and I sit beside him. Sitting in silence together. 

Soon the pink in the sky is gone, and the sky is dusted with a million stars. We've done this a million times, but now it feels so different. Something's changed, and I'm positive it's not me. My heart is beating so fast, but it's not from the fall.

 "Ga -" I say, turning to him, but it's cut off, he was already looking at me. Right now, I could see every eyelash on his eye lid , and the moonlight reflecting off his eyes . We really were that close. He starts to move his face closer, slowly rotating it, and his eyes are closing. No. This can't happen. My first kiss. With Gabriel? 

NOT.POSSIBLE. My body is disobeying my brain. Why is it not answering? I don't get it. I start to close my eyes, I can feel his breathe on my lips. 

All of a sudden, we hear "Gabriel, Oh. Oops, Did I interrupt something?", Our eyes open fast and we turn, and we see his mom, She's smiling, and asks if I would like to stay for dinner. I quickly answer no, and jump off the trampoline, not looking at Gabe. 

How could I have let this happen? He's my best friend. Not my boyfriend. He makes fun of me. He calls me names. He laughs when I get hurt. How could this have happened? When did he start to like me? I just don't get it..

- END OF CHAPTER 1- 

Eh. Cheesy. & Cliche. and just. eh. Whatevs, I was in grade 6. I'm not so sure as to what should happen in the next chapter. 

Cover? Maybe.

Hm. I'm actually kind of thinking of doing this for a cover

The 5 challenge ^-^

5 basic facts about you

1) I play guitar and ukulele. 

2) Reading & Writing are a huge passion in my life

3) I love making new friends. I am apparently good at talking to people. 

4) I am fat. 

5) I love writing fanfiction

5 not-so-basic facts about you

1) I've been on tumblr since 2009, thus making me an original on tumblr.

2) I hate hate HATE following trends. I'll wear what I want, Comfort over trend anyday

3) I hate makeup. I think it's seen as false beauty, but I wear it anyways sometimes to be a hypocrite.

4) I am a grammar nazi. 

5) I have huge hipster glasses that I just recently got.

5 ways you break the ice

1) I usually crack a joke and smile and attempt to act cute

2) I'll smile and ask what their name is

3) I'll bring a friend over, and I'll make them introduce them to me

4) I'll crack a smile and say hello

5) I'll be a fat penguin. They break the ice.

5 signs that you’re into someone

1) I'll laugh at everything they say, even if it's not funny

2) I'll try to spend a lot of time with them 

3) I'll talk to them a lot & smile a lot 

4) I'll tease them just a bit more than I should

5) After I tease them, I'll feel a little bad and try to make it better.

5 signs that you’re NOT into someone

1) I'll be completely mean to them

2) I'll make up excuses to break off plans with them

3) I'll talk about the guy I like with that person 

4) I'll flirt with other guys in front of them

5) I'll just stop talking to them 

5 things you do when you’re bored

1) I'll blog about random crap

2) I'll eat food and get fat. xD

3) I'll study my school stuff if I need to 

4) I'll clean my room 

5) I'll play my guitar & ukulele and try to cover something

5 things that make you hyper

1) I'll eat candy and stuff with sugar in it 

2) I'll will myself to be hyper

3) When i'm around people I love

4) When I'm at an exciting place with so much to do and see

5) Er- Um. I don't know. 

5 things you’re known for

1) For being super loud and stuff

2) For being a supposedly "good" singer

3) For being a funny bitch

4) For being short

5) For being a good person to copy answers off. 

5 things you want to do

wait, like. things I want to do right now? if so, then here are my answers

1) I really really want to kiss him right now. Ugh

2) I want to hang out with a friend. 

3) Go sky diving

4) Ride Dr Dooms free falling tower

5) Kiss him. I sound desperate. ugh.

5 things you’ll never do

1) Do drugs

2) Get so drunk I black out 

3) Kill someone 

4) get an abortion

5) Break someones heart on purpose.

5 good things about you

1) I'm willing to listen to someones problems 

2) I'm pretty patient, but I snap.

3) I can have a good time if I want to 

4) I'm apparently funny 

5) I apparently have good leadership skills.

5 bad things about you

1) I'm fat.

2) I have a crappy temper 

3) I have sorta low self esteem

4) I'm kind of bossy

5) I have a tendency to cry when angry.

5 ways to make you cry

1) Break my heart

2) Go on about my imperfections

3) Tell me you don't want to be my friend anymore

4) if someone close to me died

5) Insult me & mean it completely. 

5 ways to win your heart

1) Be sweet

2) Actually listen to me

3) Sing to me 

4) Be someone I can joke around with

5) Be Christian. 

5 things you need to say 

That I need to say? To someone right now? 

I'll do that one. 

1) I like you. I have no freaking idea why, but somehow I do and it's scaring the shit out of me. You're nothing I want, but apparently everything I need.

2) Seriously, Screw off. I don't want to talk to you about your insane issues, and I really don't care.

3) STOP TEXTING ME ABOUT HIM. DO YOU KNOW HOW FREAKING ANNOYING THAT IS. I don't give a shit when you tell me everything I've already heard of before! 

4) Can we please meet? We've got so much shit in common & I think we should just meet already and be best friends for life or something. 

5) You are all the greatest friends I could ask for. You guys are amazing. You stand through all my bitchiness and somehow are able to hug me when I'm disgusting and bitchy. I love you guys for it. 

Hm. New Year

New year = New me. Right? 

No, New Year = Old me - some harsh opinions. 

I'm turning into someone I promised myself that I wouldn't turn into. I decided to get drunk for the first time & I was hungover on New years day. Surprisingly, it wasn't that bad. I mean, I just took a shot... or two & just started acting a bit tipsy but I soon fell asleep around 6 am. :| It was an ... interesting experience.

But, I have a drinking buddy now. Aubree & Tyler but now I've decided I like myself better sober, so I'll only drink on special occasions (BUT EVERYDAY IS A SPECIAL OCCASION!)  

Anyways, It's official. I'm gone for the month of May. I'm going to have to catch up on so much shit. Next semester I've got ; Geography, Math, Photography, Graphic arts & band/jewelry arts. 

I'm going to have to work so hard on Math & Geo. They're my worst subjects. I'm so scared of failing the 10th grade. My science mark isn't that great and I don't want to fail it. 

Philippines in May, We're leaving 3 days after my birthday. Why do we always leave by or on my birthday? Last year we left on my birthday for Florida. I have to say, it wasn't that great. My own parents forgot it was my birthday and one of the first happy birthdays I've got was over facebook. Not on the plane, Not at the airport. FACEBOOK. Ugh. But that's okay, that night we went out for food and I got sung to at the restaurant and I got free cake out of it. :'D 

I'm so excited to be able to see my parents homes though. My mom lived on a farm, and the farm is still there. THEY HAVE A MANGO TREE. A FREAKING MANGO TREE. Oh, and they also have like, a billion other fruit trees but I'm mainly excited for the mango tree. Mango is my favourite fruit. My daddys family lived  in Metro Manila and apparently it's by MoA. No one from his family knows we're going. We're planning on turning up on their doorstep and just freaking them out. It sounds so fun & I can't wait. I just don't know how I'll survive the 12 hour plane ride. I'm guessing I should bring a lot of books. Or get an iPod. Hm. 

Anyways, I'm just super super excited for this year. I'm excited for Family camp in June. I'm excited for Youth Camp 2012, and I'm excited for summer break. Oh, I'm also excited to finally meet Miguel. HAHAH. 

Er- Anyways... 

Until next time, 

Love, Jasmine/Jassy Rae/Ameng/Shorty/